Canada Eh

I got this e-mail from one of my co-workers here in Romania. I thought this forward was really funny! Since I have been in Romania this time and teaching English I realized I am much more Canadian than American! Romanians learn the British English and I didn’t realized how much the British English has influenced Canada until I came here and started teaching!
 
As you know, Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Here are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourist Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

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 Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

 A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.
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 Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

 A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water
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Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.
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Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A: Let’s not touch this one.
               *******************************************
Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you  send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)

A: What, did your last slave die?
               ***************************************
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-DA is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
               *******************************************
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

 A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you  get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
               **********************************************
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the ViennaBoys’ Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, right after the hippo races. Come naked.
               ***********************************************
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don’t stink.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
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Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name.  It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

 A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
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Please send this on to any Canadian (or other) who you think will enjoy it as much as I did.

About Andrea

I am from Whitby, Ontario. I have lived in Romania for 9 years as a missionary but I am currently in Canada on a sabbatical break at this time. I have also lived in South Korea for a year and I have also been to Russia, Uganda, Albania and the Czech Republic on short-term mission trips. In 2012, God also gave me an amazing opportunity to go to Mozambique for the Harvest Mission School with Iris Ministries as well. I love children, reaching out to people who are in need and vulnerable, I have a passion to fight against the injustice issue of human trafficking and to simply share the love of Jesus wherever I go. I also love cats too and I have a cat of my own named Minnie!
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