God calls us to simply trust and to have faith in Him like little children but sometimes it is not always easy to simply have trust and faith like young children. It says in the Bible to not worry (Matthew 5:25 – 34) and to be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4:6 – 7) but then why do we allow our minds to be consumed with the questions that we do not understand, then we try to figure it out and as a result of us simply not trusting in God like little children anxiety fills our minds. God is longing for His children to simply know that He is such a good Father, He has our back and He wants us to be filled with His perfect peace and to not be consumed with the worries of this world.
All of these things I know and I believe are true because God is such an amazing Father and He does take such good care of His children even far better than how we can take care of ourselves however it seems to be a continual journey and process for me to learn this simple lesson to trust in God more. When God put it on my heart to go to Germany this summer in July I honestly didn’t know if it would be possible but I simply just gave this desire of my heart to God of wanting to go to the Awakening Europe conference. My heart is filled with so much gratitude of how Daddy God made it possible for me to not only go to Germany but I also literally saw His hands all over my trip and He just blew all of my expectations away far more than what I had ever imagined because it was such an incredible trip!
Now if I have seen God do so many miraculous things in my life than it makes me think than why I still struggle with worry so much. Maybe it is because God wants to continue to take me into deeper levels of trust in my relationship with Him which means at times I may have situations and circumstances where I do not understand why they happen but I still need to trust in Him even though I don’t understand what is happening in my life at the time. When we go through trials and hard times I do not know if it is a testing of our faith or if it is a spiritual battle that we are going through or maybe it is both however I do know and believe that God is good and He has promised to never leave us or forsake us during these times of uncertainly.
This summer I went through around a month of uncertainty from July 18th to August 20th. I still do not understand why I went through what I did but now when I look back I do believe that God wanted to teach me a lesson to simply trust in Him more just like a young girl because I am His daughter and He does have my back however during the month that I went through this time of uncertainty I have to admit it was very difficult for me and I struggled a lot. God wanted me to simply trust in Him and know that He was in control of my situation but instead I had allowed worry, anxiety, condemnation and my mind to be flooded with questions with doubt and fear.
When I had allowed my mind to be consumed with all of these things I had also allowed the enemy to steal my peace and joy as well which is not the life that He wants for His children at all. I am so very thankful that God never ever gives up on us but He keeps on loving us and pursuing us even when we question Him. I am so very grateful for His grace and for His faithfulness in our lives. I am so very thankful for all of the miracles that God does in our lives and also for His divine goodness and mercy that He overshadows us with every day of our lives.
When I went to Canada for the Christmas holidays I decided to buy a new computer because it was time to replace the old laptop I had especially because it had a black spot on the screen and it was too old to repair the screen. I am extremely grateful I was able to get a brand new computer for a good price that was on sale at the time and I didn’t even expect to get an ASUS flip laptop with a touch screen so this was all a bonus to me on top of getting a good quality computer. I am also very thankful for how God provided for me to get a new laptop especially one that is a better size for traveling and the battery life is much better too.
I think it was around the beginning of May which was the time that I started to get these strange pop ups on my computer when I went on the internet on certain websites, then it just got worse and worse but not only that I think I had got a virus on one of my USB memory sticks from a store which infected my computer but I didn’t know where I had got it from at that time. On Saturday July 18th someone I know re-installed Windows on my computer because he told me that would be the best option to fix the problems that I had with my laptop so he did however after the Windows was re-installed my touch screen stopped working and also my webcam as well which I never expected would happen at all and that shocked me!
When this happened I felt discouraged, disappointed and frustrated beyond what I could put into words especially being that I just bought my computer last year in December and it was brand new when I got it. On July 20th I decided to call the ASUS technical support in Canada. It turned out that there are no drivers for my touch screen to be restored but there is one driver for my webcam to be restored. The man that I spoke to on the phone recommended that I re-set my computer to the original factory settings. He told me that it might be the only way to get my touch screen back. He also told me if this does not work then I would have to take my computer to an ASUS service center either in Canada or here in Romania.
On July 21st, Martin who was on the England team (they were here for a week in July) tried to re-set my computer to the original factory settings but unfortunately it was not possible because as it turned out when my Windows had got re-installed my recovery media partition somehow got removed or deleted from my computer. This was very disappointing because it was the only way to get my touch screen restored on my computer. Martin did try to install another driver for my webcam but it didn’t work for some reason. I decided to call the ASUS support in Romania that day and explain the situation to them. I am so very grateful the woman spoke very well English when I talked to her on the phone. She seemed very kind and reassured me that my computer will get repaired by the ASUS technicians if I send in my computer to their service center in Bucharest at Depanero and she explained everything to me of how to go about doing that so I decided to ship my computer to get it repaired.
On Wednesday July 22nd it was the day my computer got shipped to Bucharest to Depanero where the ASUS service center is however in the morning there was quite a lot of confusion because usually they pick it up where you live but I asked them if they could come to the YWAM base to get it since we had a team here at the time and I knew I would be busy though in the end it just created a lot of confusion. I ended up going to the shipping company and I had to call Depanero and then the man from there explained to the woman at the shipping company where it was going.
When I left from the shipping company I thought everything would be fine because I got a paper with the tracking number however I think there was still confusion that went on with the shipping company but I didn’t actually know it at the time. The next day (July 23rd) my laptop did arrive in Bucharest in the afternoon but the strange thing is the people who work at Depanero did not have anything in their system about it nor did the ASUS technicians have my computer registered in their system that it was there with them either.
I called Depanero about my computer again if they had any information at all the next day (Friday July 24th) and then again on Saturday morning (July 25th) but no one seemed to know anything about where exactly my computer was even though by the tracking number it said it had arrived in Bucharest and it was picked up. At this point I was getting worried if my computer was even safe and everything was okay with it. I was also starting to worry that somehow the shipping company had lost my computer or someone even stole it which to be honest seem to overwhelm my emotions a lot. My laptop was still so new to me and I really depend on it a lot especially that I am serving on the mission field overseas and I need it for various reasons (the highest one is communication with my family, friends and supporters).
On Sunday July 26th the sermon my pastor preached on at my home church where I go to was the exact one that I definitely needed to hear at the time and I am so very thankful that God put it on his heart to preach on the scripture passage Philippians 4:6-7 which says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” I had allowed worry and anxiety to grip my mind and heart instead of trusting in God with my computer even though I didn’t know what is happening with it.
At the end of the service I asked my pastor if he could pray for me because this weight of worry and anxiety had been on me over the last few days. I told him what happened to my computer and that I did not know what is happening with it since it had been in Bucharest. My pastor reminded me that God is bigger than this situation and He is more than able to take care of me and this situation. My pastor then asked me to say out loud “God I trust in you with my computer” so I did and then He prayed for me. I was so very grateful for the time that my pastor took that morning after church to encourage and pray for me because it really meant a lot to me.
Over the next week I did not receive any news about my computer. I did call Depanero almost every day that week but everyone I spoke to didn’t know anything about it even though it was supposed to be there on July 23rd. On Wednesday July 29th I called them and the man I spoke to did tell me there was probably some kind of miscommunication and confusion that happened with the shipping company and then he told me he will try and find out where it is. Then on Friday July 31st I called again and they told me basically the same thing that they are trying to find my computer and they will let me know when they know anything.
During that week after I shipped my computer to Bucharest and not knowing anything about where it was my emotions were up and down so much. Sometimes I felt so down and discouraged to the point of giving up hope and even condemning myself because I thought I could have possibility avoided this whole situation. Then sometimes I was continually saying out loud “God I trust in you with my computer”, I was filled with hope and expecting that I would receive a miracle of some kind of good news.
I also felt like I was being attacked spiritually because I didn’t have any peace at all during this time especially since my mind was just consumed with worry, anxiety and condemnation. I am so very thankful that Florin my base leader had recognized I was under “attack” and he took time to pray for me. I think it was after that time I had started to proclaim more scripture verses like God being our great warrior – “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14) and also the scripture verse from Psalm 46:10 which says: “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” These scripture verses were a great reminder to me to remember our God is our great warrior, He will fight for us and we just need to be still to trust in Him and rest in Him when we are going through storms in our lives.
I am so very grateful I was able to borrow my base leader’s ipad and I was able to talk to my Mom on Skype on Sunday August 2nd. It was so great to talk to her and pray with her again especially after not being able to connect with her for over a week. When I prayed with my Mom I proclaimed by faith for a miracle to happen with my computer and that I will receive a turnaround of good news within the upcoming week.
After I got off Skype with my Mom I decided to write a faith proclamation prayer on my facebook wall. This is what I wrote “I would like to proclaim by faith that this upcoming week will be a week of turn around for my computer situation and of victory. I proclaim in the name of Jesus that is above every name for supernatural and divine favor for my computer situation. Father, I just ask in the name of Jesus that you would release your angels to find and relocate where exactly the box that has my computer, that the people working there see it as an urgent issue to locate the box, give it a service ticket, then to personally deliver it to the ASUS technicians so it can be repaired and then return back to me. I thank-you Lord that nothing is impossible for you to do that you are truly the God of breakthrough and miracles. I just want to also thank-you Lord for your divine protection, your tender care for us, your kindness, your amazing incredible love and that you are FOR us and not against us. I place my full complete trust in you and I wait in faith for the great report that I will receive this week. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”
The next day (Monday August 3rd) I received some very positive news about my computer! I spoke to a man who works with Depanero and it sounded somewhat a bit more positive than my previous conversations with them. From what I understood from this man it did sound like they did have my computer there. There was some confusion with the shipping company which caused the delay. One thing that sounded very positive is he told me that he would personally speak to the man who is in charge for my computer to receive the service so it will speed things up a lot more which was very encouraging to hear. He told me that I should have news hopefully within the next few days about how much money it will cost for the repair job and then finally my computer will be able to get sent back to me. Wow, God is so good and I am so thankful for everyone’s prayers as well!
On Wednesday August 5th I received a huge praise report! I got an e-mail from Depanero with some great news! My computer had received a service number and the ASUS technicians now had it in service there in Bucharest! It was such a huge relief to get that weight lifted from me to know that my laptop was now safe and it was now being in service with the ASUS technicians! It was such a huge answer to prayer and I really believe it is a miracle from God to know that everything was okay and my computer was safe, it will get repaired and then returned to me very soon!
I am so very thankful that I was able to borrow my base leader’s ipad again on the weekend of August 8th because I was able to Skype with my Mom again. On Thursday August 13th I called Depanero to see if there was any news about my computer and I was very happy to hear that it had been repaired and I would get it real soon and I also got really surprising news that I didn’t have to pay anything for both the shipping and the repair job because it was actually covered under warranty! When I heard that I just thanked God again and again for this blessing and also for His provision!
I thought my computer was going to arrive back in Târgu Mureş where I live on Friday August 14th but it didn’t so I decided to call them the next day and as it turned out it didn’t leave Bucharest yet because they still needed to do some test runs to make sure everything was okay before they sent it back to me. The man I spoke to told me that I should receive it by early next week.
On Thursday August 20th I received my miracle on that day which I got my computer back
right near my apartment at 12:10pm in the afternoon! After not having it for about a month I was ecstatic and happy beyond what I could possibility put into words that I was able to get it back which was a miracle from God because I thought it had actually got lost but God is so good and He watched over my laptop! I’m so very thankful that I have my laptop back and it is repaired just like new! I just want to thank everyone who had prayed for me for me to be able to get my computer back and repaired during that month I didn’t have it. I really appreciate it beyond what I could possibility put into words. I am also so grateful to God that I didn’t even have to pay for any of the repair job or for the shipping either. Wow, God is so good!!
During the month that I had without my computer I did fall really behind on everything including my e-mail, my blog, my personal year budget that I need to do every month for my income taxes but on the other hand the time without my computer did give me an opportunity to do some thinking, reflecting in my journal, reading and spending more time with God.
These are the books that I either finished reading or I had read during the month that I was without my computer:
1. Surrender to Love: Discovering the Heart of Christian Spirituality by David G. Benner,
2. The Ultimate Treasure Hunt: A Guide to Supernatural Evangelism through Supernatural Encounters by Kevin Dedmon
3. Basic Training for the Prophetic Ministry by Kris Vallotton
4. Undaunted – Daring to do what God calls you to do by Christine Caine
5. Unstoppable – Running the Race You were Born to Win by Christine Cain
All of these books really impacted me a lot because they were all very encouraging to me and they also challenged me a lot in my own personal walk with the Lord as well. I just love what Christine Caine says in her book called Undaunted: During to do what God calls you to do – “Listen to what God keeps bringing to your attention, what he interrupts your thoughts and your days with. In those things, you will recognize his leading.” If any of those books are an interest to you than I would love to encourage you to check them out because I am very sure you will also be impacted by them too!
I would like to end by thanking God for this lesson of trust that He took me on even though it was a difficult lesson to learn during this time. I feel in my heart that the Lord is constantly taking me on these lessons of trusting in Him more, though sometimes it is not fun to go through them at the time it is worth it in the end because I see when I look back how I have grown so much. I believe God is calling all of us to a deeper level of trust but not like an adult but to come to Him like little children with that children like faith!
I am so grateful beyond what I can put it words that we truly do have a Father in Heaven who definitely does have our back because we are His children! My heart is filled with so much gratitude of not only this miracle that Daddy God has done in my life with my computer but for all of His miracles that He does in my life whether they be big or small. He alone is faithful, He alone is my protector, He alone is my provider and He alone is my everything! Yes, thank-you Abba Father that I am your daughter and you have my back and you will always have my back no matter what happens in my life because I am yours!
Oh and one more thing, I would like to say a HUGE thank-you to everyone who prayed for me during the month or so for the whole computer “trial episode” that I went through. I am so very grateful for each one of you and for your constant prayers and support that you have all been to me. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart for being such amazing prayer warriors and standing alongside of me in your prayers!